The thing is, I used to get this when I had a lot on my mind, not this time.
We're starting a new project in college tomorrow, my chance to get this one right! Do you want to know what's on my mind!
What I'm going to spend with my invisible money! I planned a whole shopping trip, what I want, can I make it? If not, I planned where I can get it all from, where its affordable but still good quality, and then I thought, oh yeah, you've got no money Kitty! I've just paid off my V ticket, and I'm paying my leeds ticket off in monthly instalments. I need supplies -along with food, a hell of a lot of clothes, which, no doubt, will all be Jack Wills- for these events which is requiring me to save so much in such a short space of time! Surely this is what old people do! Budget their money! I don't even have a steady income, I had to estimate how much I'd earn every month for the next few months, then made a vow to work as much as possible, because looking at a £76 pay check is no where near as satisfying as looking at a £250 pay check, especially with all this to pay off, and my addiction to control.
My ex boyfriends mum died last week, so I have another funeral this week, its all still so raw from my aunt dying, don't know how I'll cope with this one. As soon as its over I'm hopping back on the next train to lincoln, because Lincoln's my home now, first it was my escape, now 98% of my life is here. However, I can't wait to be able to change 'lincoln' to 'london', then I'll know I'm home.
If you're reading this then I love you.
I'm getting up in like an hour, if you'd have told me that about 3 years ago, I'd have said fuck off, no one sees me before 2pm, that's bullshit. But sleep was my sacrifice to make lincoln work. I do hope I didn't sacrifice my relationship too. We shall see.
With a few less thoughts in my head will I be able to get back to sleep, even though I'm getting up in an hour, nahhh, I doubt it, but again, we shall see.
New day, New week, New start!
Have a good week my lovelies, and I will be back soon!